Struggling to get started.

It starts with a struggle. 

I mean, what better way to start a struggling librarian’s blog than a struggle – am I right?

So the struggle is this: who cares what I write? Who cares about me?

The disappointing answer to this questions is no one, not yet anyway. Perhaps someday someone will identify, will wait eagerly for my next post… Perhaps I’ll even develop a following! But until then, I will start with my struggles, and hopefully they will make you giggle or laugh or stomp away – the possibilities are endless.

So, here I start, with my struggles.

First things first

Believe it or not, you need an education to be a librarian. To be precise, I have a Master’s in Library and Information Sciences. Sounds impressive, right?

I guess it would be, if I could find a job.

Wait. That’s a little inaccurate. I have a job. I actually have two jobs. And I really love my jobs, I promise. I just wish they were one job. You know, that mythical unicorn – a permanent full time job with benefits that pays me the salary I should be paid given my level of education? That’s the job I can’t find.

I know what you’re thinking. Well, I think I know. I should feel lucky that I even have a job, given our economy, right?

Yes well, in the words of Lesley Gore (adapted to suit my needs, of course):

It’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to…

(Gluck, Gold, and Weiner, 1963)

Joking aside, I have worked my butt off.

As a graduate student I worked three part-time jobs during my full-time studies, volunteered at an alternative library and for a professional library association, was president of two library-related student associations, managed to successfully complete an internship, won a student scholarship, all the while maintaining 3.92 GPA (which is pretty awesome given the fact that the highest grade we could be accorded was an A, thus a 4.0 would be the highest GPA possible).

That being said, yes, I was able to find two part-time jobs right after graduation. This is in great part thanks to all of my accomplishments. I am lucky, a lot of my other classmates had a hard time finding jobs, some still have yet to find one. But, I also worked my butt off to get here.

I continue to work my butt off. I work six days a week, and I still volunteer my time.

Now, the struggle is to find that elusive unicorn.

I am confident I’ll find it someday. It’s out there with my name in big fat letters across it. It just depends on how much I’m willing to sacrifice to attain it.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Some things you should know about my current situation:

  1. I’m engaged to this really fantastic monkey of a man
  2. I have much younger siblings that I absolutely adore (results of my father’s midlife crisis)
  3. I am unbelievably attached to my grandmother

Good, now that you have that tidbit of background information, you’ll understand by sacrifice, I mean being away from who I will refer to as my “top 3”.

The thing is, the unicorns aren’t here. They’re elsewhere. If I really want the unicorns, I need to relocate. BUT, my “top 3” wouldn’t be able to follow me.

  1. Monkey man has his dream job (which he worked really hard for – I’m so proud of him)
  2. The sibs obviously need to stay with their parents (although I really wish I could just tuck them into my pockets and bring them everywhere with me – in the least creepy way possible)
  3. Grandma won’t leave the rest of the family just to follow me (I mean, she has her own life too, even if I wish I were the center of her universe)

So, I could just wait for the unicorns to come to me. Though this is extremely hard for me, I am a “go-getter” after all (did you not notice than I’m a little bit of an overachiever?). Or, I can go catch my unicorn at the expense of leaving my “top 3” behind.

Don’t mistake this as a rant.

Okay, will maybe it is a tad bit of a rant – although its purpose is not to complain and seek pity from you. I am just hoping that I’m vocalizing (or writing, in this case) what some of you feel out there.

And like I mentioned earlier, despite their lack of permanence, lack of full-time-ness, lack of benefits, and underpaid-ness, I absolutely love my jobs.

Time for me to brag a bit.

Job number one is in a special library. Job number two is in a school. The common denominator? Kids.

For all of you child-haters out there, this section of my post is not for you, just scroll down to the end. For those of you who share my love for children, keep on reading!

There is something incredibly wonderful about working with kids. When I say kids, I include the adolescents too. I mean, working with children has its ups and downs (especially with teens – think of a yo-yo of ups and downs). But at the end of the day, they just have a better outlook on life. They just have this uncanny ability to make the most of their situations that I feel most adults fail to do. When I leave work, I usually leave feeling happy, which is more than I could say for a lot of people (and has not always been the case with past jobs).

Anyway, maybe more on this some other time. I feel as if I’m probably losing your attention by now, if I haven’t already.

So all this to say…

I struggled with this post. You know, the big first post that will keep readers reading. I promise to try to entertain you. My monkey man is usually the funny one, I mostly just try to keep up, so please bear with me. You never know, I might actually be good at this… eventually.

The Struggling Librarian.


Gluck, J., Gold, W.,  & Weiner, H. (1963). It’s my party [recorded by Lesley Gore]. On I’ll cry if I want to [vinyl]. Santa Monica, California: Mercury Records.

4 thoughts on “Struggling to get started.

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