A little bit of sunshine

I need to apologize.

I had promised you all a little something everyday. The only problem is, I’ve had a perpetual brain fart in the last two days. So for that, I am sorry.

I have also been quite busy. My fiancé and I went for a little viewing with our photography to see the results from our engagement photo shoot last week. I absolutely adore the pictures and do not for one second regret the session. BUT, I’m going to be a total girl saying this – I hate the way I look in I’d say about 90% of the pictures. None of this is the photographer’s fault, but mostly my self-esteem issues. With that being said, I have some advice for all of you out there:

  1. Wear something you are 100% comfortable in – any by comfort I don’t just mean the feel of the clothes, but also how you feel about the way you look in them (Although I felt comfortable in my dress, I only realized later it wasn’t the most flattering – I should have taken a picture of myself in it before the shoot)
  2. If you’re going to do professional makeup and hair, have a test run before (I hated my makeup, it just didn’t look like me)
  3. Don’t pucker too much in a kiss shot if you don’t want to have a duck face

Anyway,  we ordered a few prints and I’m super excited to get them, even if I’m not completely comfortable with the way I look in them. I know I shouldn’t obsess over my weight. I’m very pro-positive body image, and that women shouldn’t conform to the way society dictates the way they should look. But I also think it’s very important to feel comfortable in the skin you’re in, and I’m not, so time to get back on track. The working out isn’t a problem though, I go to CrossFit 3-5 times a week. My problem is food. I love food. I especially love food I don’t have to cook myself. I’m working on that though, albeit slacking a little these last few weeks (hey, I’ve been really busy!). Time to get more serious with healthy eating. Anyway, enough of that.

On another note, I bumped into a former student today.

My second job is in a private high school’s library. To say I work in a zoo is an understatement. Most of the students are spoiled and entitled little brats. Now you might think, based on that description alone, that I hate my job. Quite the opposite. I love my job, and I love most of those kids.

For one, there is never a dull moment in my library. They keep me on my toes, and most of the time, they are quite hilarious. They can get out of hand (this is quite the norm). However, there is some sense of mutual respect. I don’t yell to get what I want (unlike some teachers, unfortunately) and try to treat them as adults. In return (most of the time), they accord me the same amount of respect.

I think it helps that I don’t conform to the typical librarian stereotype. I don’t shush them and don’t enforce the sometimes ridiculous rules of a typical library. Instead, I try to adapt. I’ve tried to offer them a space where they can feel safe. There’s the quiet corner, for those that want to study and read in silence. But there’s also the space where they can meet, hash out ideas, socialize or work in groups. They don’t have time to eat lunch and cram for their final? Well they’re allowed to eat while they work, as long as they remember to clean up after themselves. I listen to them, even if they’re being ridiculous. We sometimes have very lively discussions, not only about books, but also about rap music or what’s okay to post on Instagram or sports, anything really. Even if I am not up to date on current trends (it is hard to always keep up with what the teens are into at the moment), I let them know I’m interested in learning about it.

Of course, structure is always needed. I have not been immune to asking someone to leave the library, or telling them to tone it down when the discussions have gotten out of hand. However, in an age where technology is the future, and books are sadly becoming more obsolete, I believe it is a librarian’s job to adapt, and prove to the world that librarians are still relevant. I digress, more on this some other time.

So anyway, I bumped into a former student, and it warmed my heart. These kids, although bratty and spoiled and entitled, make me feel like what I’ve done for them has mattered, even if in just a small way. This boy, fresh out of high school, is onto bigger things. Yet he took the time to stop and say hi to his former librarian. To smile and say hi and talk about his future plans. He could have ignored me and pretended he didn’t see me on the bus (I hadn’t noticed him until he tapped me on the shoulder as I was getting off). He could have gone his separate way when we got into the metro. Nope. He stayed to talk the whole ride, even if he didn’t have to. And it’s stuff like this, bumping into former students and catching up, that make me feel like my job is worth it. He mentioned he wanted to go major in sports broadcasting, sports journalism. Well kiddo, I hope one day, years from now, I’ll see your face on TV talking about basketball, I sincerely do.

Anyway, it made me smile, so I thought I would share that with you all today.

Sincerely,
The Struggling Librarian

 

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